A friend of mine recently came back after spending upwards of 5 months in North America on work. Client onsite as it is called in these parts. Ill call her bigblackeyes. Bigblackeyes and i like know each other for 2 years now. we work for the same company, albeit different groups, and have been out and about so many times that for anyone new, we would almost be an item. There's something we always guarded ourselves against, and that is crossing the more than friends rubicon. She is just too important a support system and sensible people never DO support systems. And so she came back and after the week long company provided plush acco., had no place to shift. Accomodation in this bustling city isnt one of the easiest things to manage, esp if one needs it for like just a month. What with the 10 months deposits and lecherous landlords. The most logical thing happens, i had a spare bedroom, a cook and a maid, we were good 'safe' friends (call it lack of the phrase fuck buddy in our urban dic).
Bigblackeyes shifted in with me.
She had got me the nicest box of gift ferreros that i had ever seen. I helped set her up, unpacking her stuff, smelling her new perfumes, feeling some new clothes she had bought. And we commented on how both of us had changed in the last 2 and a half years. Funny, how you dont realize how people change in 2 years if you see them continuously and then a 5 month break and bingo! you realize the changes all of a sudden. I commented on how well toned her body looked and the neat hairstyle she had started sporting and she, well, commented on nothing. i could have done with a longer legs thing. All she said in a passing kissing the air tone was a wayward you're still as mad.
We drank. A lot. Like all through the evening. Like those times when you think that Hey! today my liver is not pickled and tomorrow the GOD of liver will frown on me and say - i pickle you. She is one of the few women I know, wait, the ONLY one, if i disregard a skank i used to know back in delhi, who drinks whiskey and drinks it straight up. And we got very drunk and silly. The kind of silly when you think that jumping up and down on a cold bare floor is super cool. She hopped on my shoulders trying to touch the ceiling. We even danced on the dining table one by one. And i think there was a mock strip tease i did too with my tie and belt.
All good. But then slowly something changed that evening. Maybe it was because we were getting to see each other after so long, or maybe very simply the fact that we had been sexless (i can vouch for myslef) for like maybe 3-4 months, but we both knew....and well just before we were to hit our beds (in different bedrooms), in the wee hours, we gave each other a good night hug. It was insane the ferocity with which we tore clothes off each other after that. it was unnerving then and very lustful but strange and magical when i think of it now. And i dont think it can ever come back. And itll be good if it doesnt. The guilt is just so much. Random sex with friends, I think, carries as much baggage for men as it does for women, or maybe for just SOME men. bigblackeyes is getting married in May.
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3 comments:
oh sorrry to hear that man, the marriage part. but i would say something i have always said. i am a man of impulses and there is no space for regrets; what you guys did was acting on the moment, and i am sure both of you loved it.
these are memories that make our lives interesting. at least thats what I think. Cheers!
sounds like a perfect evening to me. Like we say, it is good to be mad greek than like a calculating turk. haha! stay sweet.
No regrets. They just mindfuck you.
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